Fantasy Football Week Somthing

Welcome back one and all, Johnny Football here with your sometime fantasy football blog. Quite a lot’s happened in the last couple of weeks, but I don’t remember much of any of it so let’s crack straight on. We are very privileged this week to be talked through the movers and shakers of the FF world by none other than the king of fantasy himself, Mr Samuel Allardyce MBE.  Play it urbane Sam…

“Have you seen that Twitter account taking the piss out of me? It’s a fucking disgrace. Making out like I love Fergie and my own mam hates us, fucking rotten behaviour. Do you see them doing that to  Gandhi or Michael Jordan? Once again it’s one rule for the foreign lads and another for ‘Big Sam’. Does Jordan know the Prozone website url off by heart? Is Gandhi at Manchester police station at 4 in the morning with a spare pair of trousers and Diouffy’s bail money? No he isn’t, so fuck off. But anyway, on with the show – I’m a professional and I’m here to do a job. And first off, the lad Berbatov bagged a smashing haul this week (17pts) and I’ll not lie, it shocked me. For a white lad to be popping a couple of headers in, it rocked my world. I know I used to have Kevin Davies, but he didn’t look half the anorexic poof that this one does, impressive.

Poofs: Everywhere

And speaking of poofs, I see Arsene Wenger’s been bullying referees again – it wouldn’t surprise me if he knocked his wife about that one. And I’ll tell you now if that animal of his (Alex Song – The week’s lowest scorer with -2) tries any of his snide shit on my boys I’ll stab him in the eye with my complimentary Opta fountain pen. Then we’ll see… well, one of us will, eh.”

Ominous as ever, thankyou Sam. Continuing the the foreboding tone, the vultures seem to be hovering over poor SuperFurryGills after they posted the week’s lowest score (A paltry 22 points). Manager brad arrived at his post-match press conference red eyed and unshaven claiming to have lost the keys to his office. Sources suggest his wife’s thrown him out after discovering his involvement in the recent Wayne Rooney scandal. No doubt it was a tender and majestic night brad, but if your fantasy football’s suffered, was it really worth it? Contrasting fortunes though for Gaga Romama, who shot up the league with a cheeky 69, while Future ITV pundits still straddle us all confidently, their bronzed, muscular thighs squeezing tightly as we gaze up in wonder.

Terry: A walking wound

Man On The Street

On his recent visit to the UK the Pope peeled himself away from playing Gameboy in his hotel room to shout deranged obscenities about some of our Fantasy Football teams from his balcony. Sandinistas (‘Satan’s shit’), Baldock’s Beerguts (‘a septic puddle of fucking discharge’) and icanmex (‘Sound a bit black to me’) all came in for a tongue lashing. His final  criticism though was saved, perhaps harshly, for newcomers Roman Candles, of whom he simply stated ‘Arse candles’.

The code to join the Classic League fun is 33421-11939

When I Was a Lad… JP’s Look at Football Nostalgia

THE T.V

Today I watched Soccer A.M for the first time in about ten years. Even though it’s a bit crap these days it still filled me with nostalgia for being a kid in the 90s and thinking Lovejoy was hilarious and having naughty thoughts about Helen Chamberlain and the soccerette.

It got me thinking back to those days and football in general back then. I already made a post about the genius that was Fantasy Football with Baddiel and Skinner and that alongside Soccer AM were the real highlights of football discussion shows, getting the perfect balance between humour and football talk. For more serious discussion I used to love watching Jimmy Hill’s Sunday Supplement, featuring Hill and a load of tabloid hacks sat around in “Jimmy’s kitchen” talking about the weekend’s events. Soccer Saturday is obviously still the daddy, a premise that sounds ridiculous on paper but works so well in reality. I’m not sure if it’s just nostalgia talking or what but the lineup I remember watching as a kid with George Best, Rodney Marsh and Frank McLintock was the true golden era but it’s still a fantastic show to this day.

Of course Match of the Day has a special place in my heart also, it’s not great, especially these days, but it could be a lot worse (remember ITV’s THE PREMIERSHIP ffs) and that theme tune just is football. I also have vague memories of first getting into football and enjoying Big Match on ITV and also Saint and Greavsie before Sky took over and dominated everything.

THE MAGAZINES

I still remember getting my first ever football magazines, my dad bought me the trio of Shoot, Match and 90 Minutes one weekend in about 92 and they remained my three favourites for many years to come. I didn’t get 90 Minutes quite so often but I’d come to purchase Match and Shoot most weeks for most of the early and mid 90s, there was even a spell where I subscribed to Match and had it delivered through the door. An issue I remember in particular had John Beresford as the special guest editor, huge times.

One of my most vivid memories of cool freebies with football magazines was getting a set of cards free with an issue of 90 Minutes magazine featuring a load of footballers doing weird things. I found a few pictures of them online…

There was also obviously the infamous wall charts with the little cut out kits you’d get free at the start of each season, put up on your wall with the best of intentions each August and then by September you couldn’t be arsed updating them anymore and they’d sit there untouched until about January when you finally decided to take them down and lob them in the bin.

As I got slightly older I moved onto Match of the Day magazine and Four Four Two. Whilst those two were obviously aimed more and the adult market and were much better reads, they never quite captured the same feeling of having Match arrive through my letterbox.

CARDS/STICKERS/FIGURES ETC

My first ever sticker album was the Panini one for the 91/92 season, the last of the old Division One before the Premiership took over the world. Once the Premiership started then Merlin proved themselves to be the true king of the football sticker world and I think I had every album up until about 97/98 when I thought myself far too cool to be collecting stickers anymore.

There were also various football card fads over the years too. My favourite were the “big head” series, I can’t remember who made them but they featured caricature type pictures of the footballers and had top trump style ratings on the back.

Talking of big heads, the Corinthian figures were another huge playground phase in the mid 90s. Before them though, I remember building a small collection of Tonka football figures but you rarely hear people talk of them these days. They were bigger than the Corinthian ones and were more prominent in the late 80s/early 90s I think.

Anyway back onto Corinthian big heads, I used to love lining them up on the carpet in dream teams and different formations and stuff. One man who would always make my team is the don down below.

I also remember for a short while Netbusters videos seemed to be all the rage. A fairly low budget and short video that would come out every month or so that were pretty shit on reflection.

There was also a stupidly large amount of cock ups videos. My favourite of which was Neil Hancock’s Football Nightmares. I actually got my copy free with Four Four Two magazine and watched it fucking tons of times. He tries to get a lift to a Stoke game but ends up in another Stoke or something – HILARIOUS TIMES.

Other football collectables I remember from the time were football pogs, and also something I really struggle to find any evidence of it actually existing and that no-one seems to remember but I swear existed – little marble type things with pictures of footballers inside. I swear they were called “flick a balls” or something like that and there was a little game you could play with them too. Can’t find any pictures or anything though so you can have a huge one of an Ian Snodin pog instead.

THE VIDEO GAMES

This is just my personal journey so I’m well aware I’m missing out lots of classics here (I never played Sensible Soccer as a kid for instance). I’m pretty sure the first ever football game I played was Italia 90 round a friends, a bit of a crap game really but I thought it was amazing just because I had nothing else to compare it to.

My first ever console was a Sega Master System and the football game I played most on that and properly came to love was Super Kick Off. I also owned World Soccer but as I said, Super Kick Off was the daddy for me.

The first game of the Fifa franchise I ever owned was Fifa 96 on the Sega Saturn. I remember being stunned at its realism and it was my football game of choice on that console for quite a while as the only other one I had was the rather pony Euro 96 game based on the Actua Soccer game engine.

In 97 however, whilst I still purchased the updated Fifa game, Sega Worldwide Soccer was launched and blew it out of the water. It’s one of my favourite games of all time in fact and is hugely underrated to this day. I must have spent weeks playing on it.

So yeah that’s my recollections of being a football obsessed kid in the 90s. Have you got anything you’d like to add or that I’ve reminded you about? Post below or on the forum then innit.

Legendary #football matches part 4: #RealMadrid – #AFCAjax

The Champions League season is starting again this week and since my favourite club Ajax are playing Real Madrid in Madrid this week it’s time to look back on one of my favourite matches ever, from the 1995/1996 season.

22 November 1995, Estadio Santiago Bernabéu, Madrid

1995, Ajax won the Champions League, European Super Cup, World Cup for club teams and what not. 1994/1995 was one the most succesful seasons in the club’s proud history but probably Ajax’s best ever match was in the season after, against Real Madrid. In Madrid.

I still remember the match, even though I was only 7 at the time. I was in the car with my parents, brother and sister as we came home from a holiday or something and thus listened to the first half of the match via the radio.

Patrick Kluivert scored the opening goal but for still unknown reasons the referee disallowed the goal. Later in the first half Ajax scored another goal (Litmanen’s free kick was clearly a goal) but neither the referee and the linesmen noticed it. 0-0 at half-time. In the second half two brilliant attacks are enough to humiliate the biggest club on earth in their own stadium, 0-2. After the final whistle the Ajax players received a standing ovation from the shocked Real Madrid audience.

Untill this day videos of this match are being used in Real Madrid’s youth academy, to show the youngsters how football should be played.

Jorge Valdano, Real Madrid’s manager at the time, said after the match: “Ajax are not just the team of the nineties, they are approaching football Utopia. Their concept of the game is exquisite yet they have a physical superiority as well. They are Beauty and the Beast.”

CMPunk’s Top 50 Dons – Number 39 – Roy Keane

Roy bloody loves that dog.

Who the fuck would mess with Jim McDonald?

Roy would fuck with Big Jim, especially if he thought he was feigning injury or was not supplying the best training resources available. Roy is by no means a universally liked character but in my book he is a stand up man. Firstly let’s look at the trophies:

Nottingham Forest
• Full Members Cup (1): 1992

Manchester United
• Premier League (7): 1993–94, 1995–96, 1996–97, 1998–99, 1999–2000, 2000–01, 2002–03
• FA Cup (4): 1993–94, 1995–96, 1998–99, 2003–04
• FA Community Shield (4): 1993, 1996, 1997, 2003
• UEFA Champions League (1): 1998–99
• Intercontinental Cup (1): 1999

Celtic
• Scottish Premier League (1): 2005–06
• Scottish League Cup (1): 2005–06

Individual
• FWA Footballer of the Year: 2000
• PFA Players’ Player of the Year: 2000
• Premier League 10 Seasons Awards (1992–93 to 2001–02): Overseas Team of the Decade
• English Football Hall of Fame: 2004
• Premier League Player of the Month (2): October 1998, December 1999
• FIFA 100

Those kind of trinkets don’t get given away with a bowl of Frosties. Roy won them because Roy is a winner. Throughout his football and personnel life Roy proved himself to be a born leader who accepts absolutely no compromise. I’ve read Roy’s book, It’s brilliant. He has various scrapes with divvys from the general public and each time he loses it and ends up in the papers he justifies it with “aggression meets aggression”. Even when he knows someone has gone out of the way to wind him up he knows he did the right thing in getting big with them. Roy does not believe you can take a step back even from the likes of Big Jim. Self belief coupled with a failure to compromise with dorks equals a lot of don points.

Roy’s ultimate don moment was perhaps the Alfe Inge Haaland feud. To summarise, in the first encounter Keane pulled up with a serious injury picked up from a Haaland challenge. Alfe (nark1) and David Whetherall (nark2) accused him of feigning injury whilst in pain, Keane takes this as a massive insult as he just isn’t that kind of player. When he returns to action a year later…a full calendar year….the first chance he gets in the game with Haaland he ends his career. It’s a blatent, blatent foul but this means nothing to Roy, this is revenge. This time Alfe is on the floor and Keane is in his face shouting at him “And tell that cunt Whetherall there is plenty for him too.” Don.

This maybe a very personal opinion but you can’t let people like Haaland get away with that. What he did was in the eyes of society probably wrong but for me there’s nothing big about turning the other shoulder. Haaland almost ended Roy’s career and got the same back. I don’t think Roy ever apologised and tbf I don’t think Haaland asked him to. It’s part (or was part) of the game. This is a very simple article on a simple man of few key traits. It really is a case of “don’t fuck with Roy cause he don’t take no shit” and that is admirable in my opinion espcially as Roy tends to have the last laugh.

Roy may eventually move further up the list but his first forays into management have been rather strange. Seemingly only buying players who have played for Manchester United or Ireland has done him no favors especially as a lot of those players were shit. His character remains intact though and whether he is getting visibly agitated on Sky Sports News when it is suggested that England have world class players or falling out with another of his own players he remains good copy. Some may have Roy down as a bully or someone who is stubborn for his own good but I have him down as someone with a huge amount of self belief who sticks to his guns when the whole world is telling him he is wrong. For that reason Roy is in the don list.

Key Quote On Sunderland defender Clive Clarke, who suffered a heart attack while on loan at Leicester: ‘On a night we got beaten in the cup by Luton, the staff came in and said, “Clive Clarke has had a heart attack at Leicester”.
‘I said, “Is he OK? I’m shocked they found one, you could never tell by the way he plays”.
‘Clarke later goes and does a piece in some newspaper telling the world that I have lost the dressing room. How does he know? He wasn’t there! Clown.’

See: His next Sky Sports News interview.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/footbal….l#ixzz0yH0mdboO

Fantasy Football Week 2

A week that saw Tottenham Hotspur stride into the Champions League with a performance that was no doubt described as ‘triffic’ 8 hundred million times by Harry Redknapp in his post-match press conference, also saw Sampdoria and their utterly mental talisman Antonio Cassano fall at the same stage to the cruelest of last-minute goals. By contrast the Soapbox’s very own loon Henry has succeeded in slipping through an altogether more flimsy net and joined the league. We welcome him, along with fellow newbie Craig and the returning rbbrslmn, whose sabbatical turned out to be more like a lunchbreak.

Onto our guest now and here to talk us through the fantasy week that was is none other than former USA manager, Bob Bradley!

‘Howdy folks, Bob Bradley here to talk you the last 7 days of EPL action. We’ve just gotta start with the awesome offence on display this week – three six-zero shutouts for you guys, with the biggest get going to the London Arsenal’s Theo Wallcoat  (21 pts) with a goal treble from the mid-field. A tidy haircut and straight white teeth should make him a real role model for England’s ugly, malnourished, slacker kids. The second team on the wrong end of a soccerfest last weekend were the abysmal Wigan Athletics, who practically bent over and let that gaggle of Chelsea immigrants molest them like a goddamn motherfucking pedophile. Disgusting.

Carew: Godless brute

The third then saw the Aston Villains’ franchise blitzkrieged, with goaltender Brad Friedel caught out there as Newcastle and Andy Carrell (17pts) ran riot in his defensive zone. This could be a tough job if big Bob gets the nod, with a real lack of core values evident in the side. That brute Carew, where was his love of God and country as he blazed his penalty over like some communist scum? I would suggest that he’s not even raising his children as Christian. Let’s conclude this roundup on a happier note though, by mentioning one of the week’s other power players. Brett Hangerlands (9) played double agent scoring for both The Fulhams and Manchester United. With the player posing a threat in both courts the chance of exciting double goal action could be yours every week – a little tip for all you fantasy managers out there looking for the edge Bob Bradley style!’

Thanks a fucking bunch, Bob. League shit now and pre-season favourites Future ITV Pundits have risen assuredly to the top of the pile, with newcomers Frank Fielding? Who? blurting into second. Boasting the world’s only popular ginger, Paul Scholes at the heart of their midfield, they post the week’s highest score of 89. At the sticky end things go from bad to worse for FC Upper 90, whose continued faith in Liverpool players is looking intellectually suspect at best, heavily retarded at worst. But now onto some erratic behaviour from Blue And White Army manager Abs, who this week called an impromptu press conference at Exeter airport. Wearing a Brazil shirt and clutching a Portuguese phrase book as he boarded a short-haul flight to Guernsey he boasted, ‘I’m going to have a storming week next week. Just made a couple of big transfers that will be all over the Fantasy League back pages.’ Before declining to comment further. Enigma or wanker? It’s such a fine line.

Terry: Wanker, definitely

Man On The Street

Acclaimed director Martin Scorsese couldn’t wait to put the boot into SuperFurryGills, denouncing them as ‘snide fucking shitbags’ before flipping and launching into an astonishing personal attack on Aston Villa’s forward Emile Heskey which, frankly, should see him locked up for abuse of the word ‘cunt’. Leonardo DiCaprio has indicated his interest in playing Hesky in any potential Scorsese production.

The code to join the Classic League fun is 33421-11939

The Premiership’s Most Underrated Players

The Premier League has seen some amazing talents since its debut in 1992, the likes of Bergkamp, Zola, Klinnsman, Ronaldo, Shearer, Schmeichel et al have graced our pitches and have been recognised as some of the greatest players in the world over the past 18 years. However during that time there has also been some fucking great players who haven’t had so many headliners or column inches, players who have quietly gone about their business, loved by their own fans but never really getting the recognition they deserve from football fans in general and that is what this post is about. Here are my top ten most underrated players in Premiership history…

10; Tony Hibbert

Tony Hibbert is a player that most people other than Everton fans probably wouldn’t even be able to point out in a crowd, however he is currently the longest serving player in a very good Everton side and seems to be consistently good whenever I see him play, with the ACTIM Index rating him the best English right back in the 04/05 season.

Despite this he is criminally underrated, having never gotten a look in for England at any level and luckily for Everton fans never gets linked with big moves away from the club, despite his performances being at least worthy of some interest.

9; Steve Bould

As much as it pains me to have an Arsenal player in this list, the fact he is one of a rare breed – the bald footballer, makes it a little more ok I reckon. But yeah he is the forgotten man in what was an amazing back four really. The likes of Tony Adams, Lee Dixon, Martin Keown and even Nigel Winterburn still appear on the tv or get talked about fairly often as being great players, but you never really hear much about Steve Bould this days do you? It’s criminal really as he was bloody brilliant.

The underratedness (is that even a word ffs) of Bould even took place during his career, with him only getting 2 caps for England but he was great on the football pitch. Solid as a rock at the back and also handy going forward too, remember the chipped ball he played for Tony Adams goal against Everton in the game they won to win the 97/98 title?

8; Les Ferdinand

Les Ferdinand might suprise you a little as of course most people recognise him as a top striker and he’s a fairly big name who got a decent share of caps for England and stuff. I think people sometimes forget just how good, consistent and prolific he was though, he’s the 5th top Premier League scorer of all time ffs with 149 Premiership goals, and all this whilst never really playing for a top team.

Look at the clubs the rest of the players in the Premiership all time scorers played for and you see people who spent most of their careers at title winning sides, Man Utd, Arsenal and Blackburn or teams close behind like Liverpool. Ferdinand however played most of his games for QP FUCKING R. Of course he had a couple of seasons at Newcastle when they were pretty decent but the rest was spent in a fairly shocking Spurs side and then nobodies like Leceister, Bolton and West Ham towards the end of his career, yet he scored goals for them all. If he’d ever had the service the likes of Andy Cole got at Man Utd or Henry got at Arsenal then he’d probably be the all time greatest Premier League striker.

7; Lucas Radebe

Probably the greatest South African footballer of all time and an absolute Premiership bargain, yet Lucas Radebe seems to be constantly forgotten when people run through their lists of Premier League greats. A true gent too, remaining loyal to Leeds despite offers to join AC Milan and Man Utd.

He was just a fantastic leader at the back, a brilliant captain who led by example and led Leeds to some great results in both the league and Europe. Pisses all over Sol Campbell too.

6; Matthew Le Tissier

An absolute hero who played the game in the same way I live my life – with minimum effort because the natural talent is there in order to coast through without working very hard.

The only bad thing he ever did was turn down that move to Spurs, but other than that you can do nothing but admire the man. He scored endless amazing goals, had a superb penalty record and on a fair few times saved his team from relegation single handedly. All this whilst being almost as fat as Moz and playing in a poor Southampton side.

5; Dennis Irwin

One of the forgotten men of the great Man United teams of the 90s and early 00s, Dennis Irwin is still one of Fergies greatest ever buys and one of Man Utds best ever players. A fantastic left-back both defensively and bombing forward, he also had an excellent free kick and was tidy from the penalty spot too.

Probably forgotten about because he’s Irish tbh.

 

 

 

 

 

4; Mikel Arteta

One of the most skillful and talented players currently playing in the Premiership, yet also one of the most overlooked. Mikel Arteta is an absolute king of assists, with the ability to open defences with an amazing pass or cross and also crops up with a fair few goals of his own too.

Whilst similar players such as Modric and Joe Cole grab most of the headliners, the equally talented Arteta gets on with his business quietly and remains one of the leagues most underrated players.

3; Gary Speed

The player with the third most Premier League appearances and a consistent goal threat whoever he played for, Gary Speed is an absolute unsung hero of the Premier League.

Another player who forged out a fantastic career whilst never playing in a truely great side, but fans of Newcastle, Leeds, Bolton and Everton will all tell you what a brilliant player Speed was. I hope he does really well as a manager at Sheffield Utd, and reckon he will probably manage the Wales side sooner rather than later.

2; Danny Murphy

Danny Murphy always has been a fantastic player, but people only seem to have realised this in recent years since signing for Fulham. He was criminally underused at Spurs, at a time when we were crying out for someone as intelligent and creative as him, and even though he played a lot for Liverpool you rarely hear anyone talking about his time with them, despite playing brilliantly the majority of the time and scoring a fair few vital goals in the process.

Despite finally getting a bit of recognition in recent years, I think he’ll always been one of those what might have been players, if he’d joined the right clubs and played for the right managers earlier on in his career I could have seen him forging a fantastic international career and being recognised as a true great. A player who deserves a great deal of respect though and a great player.

1; Dirk Kuyt

The player who inspired me to make this whole post and a player I love, Dirk Kuyt deserves so much more respect I reckon. It even seems that a lot of Dutch/Liverpool fans seem to think hes a bit rubbish but I genuinely haven’t ever seen him have a bad game.

Sure hes not the flashiest of players and does make the odd mistake but he is one of the hardest working footballers I’ve seen in a long time and considering hes shoved in midfield a lot these days he still scores an awful lot of vital goals and seems to have an uncanny ability of popping up in the right place at the right time.

So yeah that is my top ten of the Premiership’s most underrated players of all time. Is there any glaring omissions I’ve made or people who made the list who you disagree with? If so then comment below or post on our forums about it, I’ll be interested to know what you think.

Fantasy Football Week 1

Coppell, O’Neil and rbbrslmn – three shock departures in the opening days of the season. And while O’Neil enjoys a curiously easy ride from the press and Steve Coppell struggles with the pressure of deciding which dressing gown he’s going to watch Trisha in for the rest of his life, we wish league founder and Dinamo BigNev manager rbbrslmn all the best as he takes some time out of the hot seat to battle his sex addiction. And so onto the business of the first week of the season! And who better to ramble on about a bunch of stuff we already know than the poster boy of ITV football… Andy Townsend!

‘I’ll tell you what, for me, the Premier League is the best in the world. Not that I watch any other leagues, or even any of the teams in the bottom half of this one, but it really puts your Bundesligas and your La Ligas of this world to shame. And listen, the early pace setter has to be your man Drogba, the boy got 17 points and he’s got to be delighted with that. Though in fairness this was against a West Brom side who, as we say round my way, are a total bag of shit. At the other end of the scale, the now-suspended Joe Cole posted the week’s lowest score of –2 thanks to a lunging red card challenge that endangered the bone structure of Laurent Koscielny’s legs, but at the end of the day we all know Joe’s not like that, so I think he’s been unlucky there.

Harewood: Done first class

The surprise of the week has to be the 15 point man Maron Harewood, who, for me, looks like a Goomba in the back of a spoon. I don’t know what league this Blackpool lot have come from, in fact Adrian Chiles and me had a good chuckle about how we’d not even heard of them before the weekend, I don’t think anyone had to be honest with you, but there’s no denying they’ve all done first class. Another new side, Newcastle, didn’t fare quite so well however, and my old mate Chris Hughtons got to be disappointed with that. Having grown up in the same part of Ireland as him I know Chris well and let me tell you, he wants to win football matches, simple as that. But look, listen, bottom line, the Premier League is back, fantastic, and when it comes down to it it’s up there with your Human Leagues and your Leagues of Gentlemen of this world, and ultimately, that’s what it’s all about.’

Cheers Andy. On to league chatter now with Baldocks Beerguts and Blue And White Army leading the way after Week 1. Both sides benefited from big hauls for Chelsea stalwarts Lampard and Drogba on their way to breaking the 60 point barrier, strong showings in a tricky opening week. At the other end of the table the only two sides not to break 30 points were the hapless AFC Bobothy and FC Upper 90, the latter’s fixture marred by fan protests over it’s ‘clueless yank’ owner. In other news, despite a strong mid-table start Beardy Wonders’ controversial manger SuperJohnny has bizarrely threatened to sack every one of his players, although with cunts like John Terry in his side, he probably has his reasons. And finally, forum sexpot Glasi is has informed the forum that she is playing the game, but will not be joining the league, in what can only be described as typically Finnish behavior.

Terry: Cunt

Man On The Street

‘Well Korunha and FC Upper 90 both look like a steaming pile of spastic for starters and I’ll tell you another thing, I wouldn’t piss on that cunt Drogba if he was on fire’ fumed TV’s Konnie Huq. ‘Did you see that West Brom wall?’ quipped a lurking Charlie Brooker. ‘It parted quicker than Konnie’s legs once she heard I’d got my own panel show.’

The code to join the Classic League fun is 33421-11939

Football Manager 2011 Announced #footballmanager

I’ve been a fan of the Football Manager series for ages now, and it never disappoints. Looks like the next will be no different – with huge changes introduced in the first announcement. Watch the video at the bottom of this post if you want all the details, but for those who can’t be bothered watching a 10 minutes video, I’ve done my best to condense the contents into this post.

Changes to be made then…

Contract Negotiations

• Agents – there are 5 different types of agent, each of whom negotiate player contracts in different ways – some come to you with a clean slate, some with huge demands, and some more sensible.

• New Clauses – around 12 in total – including “Team of the Year” bonuses and release clauses if a “big European club” makes an offer.

• Change in Negotiations – all done on a conversational basis

Training

• Individual Training Focus – 14 extra areas including Jumping, Stamina, Agility etc

• Match Preperation – train players in specific formations, and focus training on specific areas, for example “Improving Defending Set Pieces”

Interaction and mind games

• Private Conversations – chat to a player in private to resolve issues etc

• Board Requests – including “Build New Stadium” option if current stadium’s capacity has been reached, and “Increase Percentage Transfer Revenue” which gets you more money to spend from the players you sell.

News

• Subscriptions Improvement – News screen and Inbox screen merged back together, and subscriptions are easier to manage

• New module written – looks at league place possibilities and uses them inside news items

Match Engine

Emotion Engine introduced – players celebrate/appeal decisions.
(skip to 6.30 of youtube video for footage)

Dynamic League Reputation

A league’s reputation improves based on how well the teams within it perform – for example, if Belgian teams dominate the Champions League for years and years, then the desirability of the Belgian league improves, and better players will join Belgian clubs.

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Sounds pretty fantastic I reckon. Particularly looking forward to the changes in contract negotiations. Hope they agents don’t ruin it though, don’t want it being TOO similar to real life do we…

CMPunk’s Top 50 Dons – Number 43 – David Ginola

An argument has arisen on our beloved forum about whether Blackburn should be bought by a billionaire as has been reported somewhere. Any regular readers of this blog who do not contribute to the forum (what do you mean there isn’t any?) may be pretty shocked by this. We do not only chat about lo-fi Indie as this place suggests y’know! There’s another thread about the authenticity of fishing show bleeping reel developing this very morning. Registration is HERE by the way if you want to get involved.

Amidst the argument forum doctor Abs suggested that Blackburn did not buy the title in the similar way to Chelsea many moons later. I would suggest they did in a way, it’s just they bought a very different title as the Premier League is an ever evolving beast. When Blackburn bought the title they bought the best available to them which was a lot of plucky talented English grafters whilst Chelsea brought a mix of grafters and sexxay talent from all over the globe. Same idea of buying the best available just a different global transfer culture.

Amidst that change in culture was a time when the dodgy foreigner was king, whilst our league may still be dominated by them, it would be very hard to argue the quality has risen somewhat. There was a time when they promised the volleys, the peles, the nutmegs, the razzamataz and very, very, very few actually delivered. At the forefront of those was one David Ginola. What set him apart was that he actually had a knack of delivering some of the greatest moments in Premiership history.

I know despite those mad skills you’re thinking ‘Shit hair, shit clothes, not a don’ but for me any player who refuses to track back in favour of resting so he can try some fresh moves has a bit of something about him. There are a lot of equations that can be used to figure out a don. I’m sure you can only imagine the kind of complex maths that justified Peter Doherty’s place in the list but sometimes it’s just very, very, very simple.

God given ability minus any kind of effort equals DON.

And if there’s any doubts he earned bonus points for being kicked out of the French squad for trying flash shit instead of holding the ball up in the dying moments of the Euro 96 qualifiers and also managing to nob but not headbutt Ulrika Johnson.

If you go back to my original point about the evolution of the league, we saw the likes of Ginola become the likes of Damien Duff. Genuine talent exchanged for hard graft. One of my most horrible football expierences was playing a bunch of lads on holiday many moons ago. There was only a short gap in age but whilst they played a game of flash passing and using the space and so on and on, all we wanted to do was score volleys or preferably hit the bar very, very hard. How very boring that there are now a generation of kids who put graft over skill. David Ginola, you and your ilk may have been a lazy pain in the arse at times but you lit up many lives and inspired a generation of lazy flash people.

Thank you for the good times David.

Interesting fact: In 1999, he was named PFA Players’ Player of the Year and FWA Footballer of the Year, while playing for Tottenham Hotspur.
See: Youtube futher Ginola compilations tbh. There are plenty out there.

Legendary #football matches part 3 : #Liverpool – #ACMilan

25th of May, 2005, Ataturk Olympic Stadium Istanbul

Liverpool and AC Milan played each other in 2004/2005’s Champions League final, after Liverpool knocking out Chelsea 1-0 on aggregate (was it a goal?) and AC Milan knocking out PSV Eindhoven 3-3 on away goals.

AC Milan starts off very well with Maldini scoring a cracking volley in the first minute, then Crespo adds another two in the first half which results in 3-0 half-time score for AC Milan, match over. Take a special look at Crespo’s second, brilliant touch and pass by Kaka and superb finishing by Crespo. The perfect goal, haven’t seen much better ones. Let’s hope Kaka will soon find this kind of form again, which made him the best player in the world with ease at that time.

Steven Gerrard gives Liverpool a glimmer of hope in the second half by scoring a cracking header pretty soon in the 2nd half. 3-1. Only two minutes later Smicer scores the 3-2 with a shot from distance (wasn’t it a goal from Baros?) and all of a sudden Liverpool are back in the game.
If that isn’t enough Liverpool get awarded a penalty in the 60th minute and even though Xabi Alonso misses it he manages to make the equaliser in the rebound. Liverpool are back from 3-0 down in a space of only 6(!) minutes time. After that AC Milan still gets some good chances to score the winner but don’t score which means extra-time is on its way.

Shevchenko misses two great, great chances just before the final whistle which means the match is going down to penalties. Liverpool wins and Jerzy Dudek is the hero by saving a few and ‘dancing’ on the line Bruce Grobbelaar style.

AC Milan’s brilliant 3-0