Archive by Author

CMPunk’s Top 50 Dons – Number 39 – Roy Keane

1 Sep


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Roy bloody loves that dog.

Who the fuck would mess with Jim McDonald?

Roy would fuck with Big Jim, especially if he thought he was feigning injury or was not supplying the best training resources available. Roy is by no means a universally liked character but in my book he is a stand up man. Firstly let’s look at the trophies:

Nottingham Forest
• Full Members Cup (1): 1992

Manchester United
• Premier League (7): 1993–94, 1995–96, 1996–97, 1998–99, 1999–2000, 2000–01, 2002–03
• FA Cup (4): 1993–94, 1995–96, 1998–99, 2003–04
• FA Community Shield (4): 1993, 1996, 1997, 2003
• UEFA Champions League (1): 1998–99
• Intercontinental Cup (1): 1999

Celtic
• Scottish Premier League (1): 2005–06
• Scottish League Cup (1): 2005–06

Individual
• FWA Footballer of the Year: 2000
• PFA Players’ Player of the Year: 2000
• Premier League 10 Seasons Awards (1992–93 to 2001–02): Overseas Team of the Decade
• English Football Hall of Fame: 2004
• Premier League Player of the Month (2): October 1998, December 1999
• FIFA 100

Those kind of trinkets don’t get given away with a bowl of Frosties. Roy won them because Roy is a winner. Throughout his football and personnel life Roy proved himself to be a born leader who accepts absolutely no compromise. I’ve read Roy’s book, It’s brilliant. He has various scrapes with divvys from the general public and each time he loses it and ends up in the papers he justifies it with “aggression meets aggression”. Even when he knows someone has gone out of the way to wind him up he knows he did the right thing in getting big with them. Roy does not believe you can take a step back even from the likes of Big Jim. Self belief coupled with a failure to compromise with dorks equals a lot of don points.

Roy’s ultimate don moment was perhaps the Alfe Inge Haaland feud. To summarise, in the first encounter Keane pulled up with a serious injury picked up from a Haaland challenge. Alfe (nark1) and David Whetherall (nark2) accused him of feigning injury whilst in pain, Keane takes this as a massive insult as he just isn’t that kind of player. When he returns to action a year later…a full calendar year….the first chance he gets in the game with Haaland he ends his career. It’s a blatent, blatent foul but this means nothing to Roy, this is revenge. This time Alfe is on the floor and Keane is in his face shouting at him “And tell that cunt Whetherall there is plenty for him too.” Don.

This maybe a very personal opinion but you can’t let people like Haaland get away with that. What he did was in the eyes of society probably wrong but for me there’s nothing big about turning the other shoulder. Haaland almost ended Roy’s career and got the same back. I don’t think Roy ever apologised and tbf I don’t think Haaland asked him to. It’s part (or was part) of the game. This is a very simple article on a simple man of few key traits. It really is a case of “don’t fuck with Roy cause he don’t take no shit” and that is admirable in my opinion espcially as Roy tends to have the last laugh.

Roy may eventually move further up the list but his first forays into management have been rather strange. Seemingly only buying players who have played for Manchester United or Ireland has done him no favors especially as a lot of those players were shit. His character remains intact though and whether he is getting visibly agitated on Sky Sports News when it is suggested that England have world class players or falling out with another of his own players he remains good copy. Some may have Roy down as a bully or someone who is stubborn for his own good but I have him down as someone with a huge amount of self belief who sticks to his guns when the whole world is telling him he is wrong. For that reason Roy is in the don list.

Key Quote On Sunderland defender Clive Clarke, who suffered a heart attack while on loan at Leicester: ‘On a night we got beaten in the cup by Luton, the staff came in and said, “Clive Clarke has had a heart attack at Leicester”.
‘I said, “Is he OK? I’m shocked they found one, you could never tell by the way he plays”.
‘Clarke later goes and does a piece in some newspaper telling the world that I have lost the dressing room. How does he know? He wasn’t there! Clown.’

See: His next Sky Sports News interview.
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/footbal….l#ixzz0yH0mdboO

SuperJohnny’s Top 5 Trainers

27 Aug

Who doesn’t love a list eh!?! They’re a staple of the Soapbox forum. So seeing as they’re so en vogue at the minute what with JP’s brilliant Top 10 under-rated Premiership footballers list and CM’s wonderful and bang on the money Top 50 Don’s list I thought I’d get involved. Plus I felt bad about not contributing to this blog and thought I’d give it a go.

So I had a wee think and thought about what I should do mine on, and eventually came up trainers because … well I love them and I spend to high a percentage of my earnings on them. Now I’m not going to list 50 trainers, not even 10 of them, I’ll be listing my Top 5, or what I see as the crème de la crème of the trainer world.

For future reference anyone who uses the word sneakers instead of trainers deserves to be beaten to death with an Adidas ZX800 though not those limited edition Star Wars ones they were fucking rotten.

Oh and Karl you know I love you like a brother but the Reebok Classic is an abomination of a shoe, a fact backed up by some research I have conducted that found most people who wear them are in their 40’s and wear them with white socks pulled half way up their shins, shorts and one of those old man polo shirts which have a breast pocket, these losers can be found on Tunbridge Wells High Street going for their copy of the Daily Express or heading down to the local Cop Shop to bail their sister out … again. Only kidding Eddie, though those black Classic’s you posted up a while back looked like something out of a special needs school.

So with that introduction let’s get down to business …

05. The Trimm Trab

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The Trimm Trab was originally released in the mid 1970’s and was at the time a revolutionary shoe thanks to its sole unit which was made out of polyurethane (PU), a material which was both lightweight and flexible while also being a great shock absorber.

Other models who borrowed the Trimm Trab’s sole unit include the Munchen, Tennis Spezial, Madrid and Centre Court. Mint condition original releases of these trainers are pretty rare these days, as time isn’t kind to polyurethane and it ages very badly, as it gets older it becomes sticky and then starts to crumble. If you can find an early release of these trainers in even a fair condition you’ll be paying hundreds of pounds for them.

Despite being released in the mid 1970’s it took a decade for the shoe to become the icon we know it as today, this was due largely to the Trimm Trab being adopted into the ‘Casual’ scene and becoming a regular sight on the feet of young lads on the football terraces of England.

Re-released in 2004/05 and also 2009/10 this shoe has risen again and is as popular as ever.

04. Grand Slam

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Released in 1981 the Grand Slam was another revolutionary shoe from Adidas. Following on from the release of the Netase, ATP, Grand Prix and Wimbledon the GS was and still is the Daddy of them all.

Borrowing the three peg technology of the L.A. which allows the wearer to change the density of the sole unit to fit his or her requirements this is one fine looking shoe. Like a lot of Adidas trainers which were developed for one specific reason the GS was soon adopted into Terrace Culture (much like all the shoes in this list). The GS is held in such high regard in the ‘Casual’ scene that it was features on the front cover of Dave Hewitson’s fantastic book ‘The Liverpool Boys Are Back in Town’.

Recently re-released as part of the Adidas Tournament Edition series and then again this year this shoe continues to sell well and looks as great as ever thanks mainly to the company not bastardising them, which is something they should learn from considering the horrendous job they’ve done on recent releases of the Forrest Hill, PT and those god awful Kermit the Frog Stan Smiths.

03. Stockholm

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Originally released as part of the City Pack in the 1970’s the Stockholm is an iconic shoe. From it’s gum sole unit, to blue suede upper, and the iconic three stripes in yellow this shoe just oozes class unlike the Dublin which is a bit to garish with it’s orange stripes, plus the city itself is full of beggars and smells of piss, and the London just looks plain awful with it’s black and red upper. Therefore Stockholm > Dublin > London.

Again like the other trainers in this list (bar the Campus) the Stockholm is a favourite amongst the ‘Casual’ scene. Recently re-issued Adidas have kept it simple and came up with a winner.

Out of the shoes on this list the Stockholm is the only one I haven’t owned, I have tried them on but they just don’t feel right on me, but nevertheless I’m including it in the list because I can, and I still think it’s an incredible shoe despite not being able to wear them.

02. Forest Hill

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The Forest Hill was probably the first shoe that I bought for look rather than practicality. Until a few years ago trainers to me were nothing more than a piece of clothing you had to buy, now trainers are the item of clothing I build my outfit around, it’s got to the point were I will only buy jeans or cords that compliment whatever shoe I’ve chosen to wear that day.

Originally released in the 1970’s the Forest Hill is probably best known for its colourful sole unit which incorporated NASA design technology.

My sordid affair with the Forest Hill began during the re-release in 2006/07. My first pair were white with a yellow sole, God I loved them, I still remember walking past The Bureau in town every day on my way into work and wishing I had the money for them, I eventually got my fat fingers on them one pay day and handed over 70 sheets to get them which at the time was a lot of money to me.

The one thing I didn’t like about the Forest Hill and what has ultimately lead to them only charting at number 2 on my Top 5 list is they weren’t very comfortable, but fuck it they look amazing, or should I say they did look amazing.

If you know Adidas you’ll know they have a tendency to re-release past glories and fuck them up, for every great shoe they do there are 2 dozen awful ones, just look at those shitty looking kicks they did with Goodyear tyres and don’t get me started on the recent Star Wars series.

Unfortunately the Forest Hill hasn’t escaped this butchering, much to my disappointment Adidas have recently re-released the Forest Hill complete with little trefoil Adidas logo’s embossed all over them and neon sole units, they’re the kind of shoe some chav cunt will wear and match it with a pair of Primark jeans and a McKenzie jacket and think they are the dogs bollocks.

But despite all this I still love them for what they were, not what they have become.

01. Campus

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Not to be mixed up with the Campus II, the Adidas Campus is a narrower less clumpy version of it’s name sake and predecessor. Without doubt my favourite trainer ever the Campus is like your favourite pair of jeans, in that they just feel right when you wear them.

I’ve been obsessed with these since the re-release in 2008/09. Since then I’ve had four pairs of them in both the navy/white and black/white colourway. I have so far managed to avoid the purple/white and teal/white releases but it’s getting to the point now were they are so hard to find that I’d get them in just about any colourway just to get the feeling of putting a box fresh pair of them on.

Worn religiously by the Beastie Boys, the Campus are the only shoe on my list which isn’t overtly linked to Terrace Culture and is more in line with the hip hop/B-Boy scene of 1980’s NYC a scene with which the Adidas Superstar is best known and most recognised. Adidas have again re-released these this year but unless you like your trainers with snakeskin stripes I would avoid at all costs because they look hideous.

So there we have it a run down of SuperJohnny’s Top 5 favourite trainers.

CMPunk’s Top 50 Dons – Number 40 – Jim McDonald

25 Aug

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“So It Is”

Even in a world where Phil Mitchell smokes crack, the thought that a character like Jim McDonald was on television is still rather peculiar. Coming from a time when Corrie seemingly hired labourers out of the dole queue to play their characters (you can’t tell me the guys who play Kevin Webster & Martin Platt have GCSE Drama) Jim McDonald was a fucking brute. I can’t go to deep into his character because frankly I cannot remember but he was fucking fierce. Instead I will state the facts that warrant his place in the list:

1. His original storyline in Corrie involved him finding work as a security guard before having to leave after a violent encounter with two intruders led to him feeling concerned that he could kill someone if such a situation arose again.
2. Killed drug dealer Jez Quigley after the local gangster smashed his son Steve McDonald to pieces. Jim did not mean to kill him the beating was just too fierce.
3. Had a piece of Liz McDonald for 20 odd years. His last appearance in The Street involved him tearing her new husband to be to pieces in a fit of jealous rage.

At the end of the day who the fuck is going to mess with Jim McDonald?

CMPunk’s Top 50 Dons – Number 41 – #MikeSkinner

24 Aug

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“Around here we say birds not bitches”

That’s such a key lyric for me. I have already shown my distaste for the state of the music industry at the turn of the millennium but it wasn’t only the only thing a miss. I used to rip into former forum omelette “Dan” for writing in Ali G like tones because to me it’s mocking your (well maybe not his, he is something of a mysterious Herbert) culture for cheap laughs. There were definite parts of society and media who portrayed Ali G as being a reality and it wasn’t. The fact is we did say birds and not bitches, we had our own culture and it might have sounded equally as silly as Ali G, it might have looked like a labourer with a horrible French crop and itmay come across as thick and lazy, it is real and warm though and thus beyond mockery.

Original Pirate Material told the whole story of the supposed scene Ali G belonged to. My brother was a Drum and Bass DJ at the time who ran a pirate radio station so I’m probably a bit closer to some of the themes than most but I’m sure EVERYONE who was 16-21 at the time can relate to some of the things referenced on the album such as playing N64, trips to Amsterdam, drinking doubles at the speed you usually drink singles and sex, drugs and on the dole and so on. The reality of the album in comparison with it’s most obvious predecessors Parklife and Different Class is striking. This isn’t posh kids making a comment on the world around them, this is someone living within it. In my opinion it dicks on both albums to be honest.

To be fair I’m not sure if Original Pirate Material actually says anything about teenage working class culture at the time but just for shining a light on it when it was open to mockery and allowing those who know it to nod in agreement is worthy in my opinion.

There was only glimpses of Mike Skinner’s ability in his work that followed Original Pirate Material. The follow up was patchy and the following 2 albums were pretty awful. There were decent tunes throughout such as The Escapist, Empty Cans, Pranging Out and so on but I think the Skinman quickly moved off from that life and can no longer write for the masses. He may only be 41 on the list due to the shoddy latter output but he is definitely worth a place within the list. For a man of 21 to come out of nowhere with an album he had made in his bedroom that sounded like UK Garage meets the Clash is really quite astonishing. It may only be one album of greatness but it’s so good and so of my time, it’s don worthy for me and it’s my list so tough shit if you don’t get it.

See: http://www.mikeskinner.com

The Soapbox’s Top 100 albums of the 90s.

18 Aug

If you’re a regular to this blog (hey Der Effe!) then you’ll remember our Top 100 Albums of the 00s that I posted at the start of the month. Well this post is the same, except for the previous decade. Each member submitted a list of their top 50 albums of the 90s, and popular forum member LENNY compiled a huge list (329 albums in total), awarding 100 points to each member’s number 1 album, 99 points for their number 2 and so on.

As a lot of the users are proper MADFERITs, the 90s were a lot easier to agree on, and the top 10 may be a little predictable. Still, some great tracks on there that I’ll be posting – if you haven’t heard them I strongly reccommend listening.

100. Cast – All Change
99. The Chemical Brothers – Surrender
98. Paul Weller – Stanley Road
97. Björk – Debut
95. Manic Street Preachers – Gold Against the Soul
95. Smashing Pumpkins – Siamese Dream
94. Guided By Voices – Alien Lanes
93. Nas – Illmatic
92. Longpigs – The Sun is Often Out
91. Massive Attack – Blue Lines

90. Sebadoh – Bakesale
88. Eels – Electro-Shock Blues
88. Manic Street Preachers – Generation Terrorists
87. The Bluetones – Expecting to Fly
86. Space – Tin Planet
85. Happy Mondays – Pills ‘n’ Thrills and Bellyaches
84. Pavement – Wowee Zowee
83. Teenage Fanclub – Bandwagonesque
81. The Charlatans – Us and Us Only
81. U2 – Achtung Baby

80. Mansun – Attack of the Grey Lantern
79. The Charlatans – Up to Our Hips
78. The Stairs – Mexican R’n’B
77. The Brian Jonestown Massacre – Methodrone
76. Pavement – Brighten the Corners
74. GZA/Genius – Liquid Swords
74. Wu-Tang Clan – Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)
73. The Jesus and Mary Chain – Honey’s Dead
72. Morrissey – Vauxhall & I
71. Death In Vegas – The Contino Sessions

70. Pavement – Slanted and Enchanted
68. Arab Strap – Philophobia
68. Shack – Waterpistol
67. Guns N’ Roses – Use Your Illusion I
66. DJ Shadow – Endtroducing
65. Black Star – Mos Def & Talib Kweli Are Black Star
64. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Let Love In
63. Foo Fighters – The Colour and the Shape
62. Belle and Sebastian – Tigermilk
60. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds – Murder Ballads
60. Sonic Youth – Dirty

59. Rage Against the Machine – The Battle of Los Angeles
58. The Brian Jonestown Massacre – Give it Back!
57. Yo La Tengo – I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One
56. Portishead – Dummy
55. Supergrass – Supergrass
54. Eels – Beautiful Freak
53. Pavement – Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain
52. Rage Against the Machine – Rage Against the Machine
51. The Verve – A Storm in Heaven

50. Shack – H.M.S. Fable
49. Jeff Buckley – Grace
48. Ocean Colour Scene – Marchin’ Already
47. Belle and Sebastian – If You’re Feeling Sinister
46. Blur – The Great Escape
45. Ride – Going Blank Again
44. The Charlatans – Tellin’ Stories
43. Blur – 13
42. Prodigy – The Fat of the Land
41. Pulp – His ‘N’ Hers

40. Sonic Youth – Goo
39. Green Day – Dookie
38. Blur – Modern Life is Rubbish
37. Stereophonics – Performance and Cocktails
36. Ash – 1977
35. Neutral Milk Hotel – In the Aeroplane Over the Sea
34. Super Furry Animals – Guerrilla
33. R.E.M. – Automatic for the People
32. Ocean Colour Scene – Moseley Shoals
31. Blur – Blur

29. Beck – Odelay
29. Supergrass – In It for the Money
28. Weezer – Pinkerton
27. Manic Street Preachers – Everything Must Go
26. Ride – Nowhere
25. Super Furry Animals – Fuzzy Logic
24. Primal Scream – Vanishing Point
23. Spiritualized – Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating in Space
22. My Bloody Valentine – Loveless
20. The Flaming Lips – The Soft Bulletin
20. The Lemonheads – It’s a Shame About Ray

19. Pulp – This is Hardcore
18. Weezer – Weezer (The Blue Album)
17. Super Furry Animals – Radiator
16. Manic Street Preachers – The Holy Bible
15. Stereophonics – Word Gets Around
14. Supergrass – I Should Coco
13. The Verve – A Northern Soul
12. Nirvana – Nevermind
11. The La’s – The La’s

10. Primal Scream – Screamadelica

Listen to “Loaded”

9. Blur – Parklife

Listen to “End of a Century”

8. Oasis – Be Here Now

Listen to “Stand by Me”

7. The Verve – Urban Hymns

Listen to “Lucky Man”

6. Radiohead – The Bends

Listen to “Fake Plastic Trees”

5. Pulp – Different Class

Listen to “Mis-Shapes”

4. Nirvana – In Utero

Listen to “All Apologies”

3. Radiohead – OK Computer

Listen to “Paranoid Android”

2. Oasis – (What’s the Story) Morning Glory?

Listen to “Morning Glory”

1. Oasis – Definitely MaybeListen to “Columbia”

Football Manager 2011 Announced #footballmanager

18 Aug

I’ve been a fan of the Football Manager series for ages now, and it never disappoints. Looks like the next will be no different – with huge changes introduced in the first announcement. Watch the video at the bottom of this post if you want all the details, but for those who can’t be bothered watching a 10 minutes video, I’ve done my best to condense the contents into this post.

Changes to be made then…

Contract Negotiations

  • Agents – there are 5 different types of agent, each of whom negotiate player contracts in different ways – some come to you with a clean slate, some with huge demands, and some more sensible.
  • New Clauses – around 12 in total – including “Team of the Year” bonuses and release clauses if a “big European club” makes an offer.
  • Change in Negotiations – all done on a conversational basis

Training

  • Individual Training Focus – 14 extra areas including Jumping, Stamina, Agility etc
  • Match Preperation – train players in specific formations, and focus training on specific areas, for example “Improving Defending Set Pieces”

Interaction and mind games

  • Private Conversations – chat to a player in private to resolve issues etc
  • Board Requests – including “Build New Stadium” option if current stadium’s capacity has been reached, and “Increase Percentage Transfer Revenue” which gets you more money to spend from the players you sell.

News

  • Subscriptions Improvement – News screen and Inbox screen merged back together, and subscriptions are easier to manage
  • New module written – looks at league place possibilities and uses them inside news items

Match Engine

Emotion Engine introduced – players celebrate/appeal decisions.
(skip to 6.30 of youtube video for footage)

Dynamic League Reputation

A league’s reputation improves based on how well the teams within it perform – for example, if Belgian teams dominate the Champions League for years and years, then the desirability of the Belgian league improves, and better players will join Belgian clubs.

——————————————————————-

Sounds pretty fantastic I reckon. Particularly looking forward to the changes in contract negotiations. Hope they agents don’t ruin it though, don’t want it being TOO similar to real life do we…

CMPunk’s Top 50 Dons – Number 42 – Billy Robbins

18 Aug

This is another tricky one as I sort of hate fat people. There was a time when I was something of a bloater myself so I have a direct insight into the mind of one and find it very hard to relate to one these days. I coupled an extremely unhealthy diet with a degenerate binge drinking weekend and I also wasn’t one for exercise. I still got no where near your average bloater but I know how lethargic and greedy the lifestyle is. I have now transformed myself into the kind of man who has a run a maximum of 8 miles in a session, eats a weekly minimal amount of fruit and veg and who drinks slightly less than your degenerate binge drinking superstar. I know there are variety of reasons for obesity but I also know how hard the long road to a decent level of fitness and lifestyle is so I really lack respect for those members of society who take pride in their selfish and greedy lifestyles.

Despite all of this I cannot say I am now full of admiration for Billy Robbins. For those unfortunately unaware of Billy Robbins he is the star of a documentary detailing his attempt to lose some of the 60 stones that made him the heaviest teenager in America.

The Robster in full flight.

Billy is so fat he comes across as quite in-human. His desire for food warrants pretty incredibly irrational decisions and facials that are simply a delight. His life solely revolves around eating, sleeping and playing video. Whilst I am aware this is not a life your average person could lead, it’s still not a bad life, eh?

There is a sequence of events in his documentary that just sums Billy up. Having already seen Billy already hospitalised due to his weight and various humiliating ordeals such as his mother changing his nappy, Billy decides he is not losing enough weight in hospital as he cannot get his stamina up. I’m not really sure what he means but in fact it had a little more to do with his cunt faced mother still feeding up him mammoth portions whilst in the fucking hospital. His mother is a complete omelette by the way with the kind of lack of intelligence only seen by the players, management and fans of West Ham United.

Anyway, Billy discharges himself against doctors orders and somehow makes into a big fuck off truck like what Americans have and sets off back to his shithouse gaff. On arrival Billy tries and fails to walk into the house, he then completely flakes out and the big fat smelly mess falls on the bonnet of his mother’s car and an ambulance is immediately called. I have never seen anyone look so exhausted in all my life and he only went like 6 steps. It’s hard to sum up the exhausted and crazed look on his face apart from beastly. As his mother runs over to help him he mutters the immortal words “Aw mother, I shit myself”. You cannot knock that kind of form.

Insert own Moz joke.

Later after a long hospital stretch where he eventually loses some girth and is released from the hospital again after having a gastric bypass, the first thing he did upon arriving home was have a big fuck off hotdog.

As will be mentioned time and time again, there is something terribly romantic about men destroying themselves through blindly following their dreams and desires. Whilst many might have done this through drink, drugs and women, it’s not fair to oestrocize the likes of Billy because very few have taken it as far as he has. I’m not a fan of obesity and Billy has no kind of interesting or intriguing personality traits but if Billy earns his place in this list by pushing his demons to the limit and being fun to laugh at.

Key Quote: “Oh mama. I’ve shit myself”
See: That documentary on him. Just youtube Billy Robbins

CMPunk’s Top 50 Dons – Number 43 – David Ginola

17 Aug

An argument has arisen on our beloved forum about whether Blackburn should be bought by a billionaire as has been reported somewhere. Any regular readers of this blog who do not contribute to the forum (what do you mean there isn’t any?) may be pretty shocked by this. We do not only chat about lo-fi Indie as this place suggests y’know! There’s another thread about the authenticity of fishing show bleeping reel developing this very morning. Registration is HERE by the way if you want to get involved.

Amidst the argument forum doctor Abs suggested that Blackburn did not buy the title in the similar way to Chelsea many moons later. I would suggest they did in a way, it’s just they bought a very different title as the Premier League is an ever evolving beast. When Blackburn bought the title they bought the best available to them which was a lot of plucky talented English grafters whilst Chelsea brought a mix of grafters and sexxay talent from all over the globe. Same idea of buying the best available just a different global transfer culture.

Amidst that change in culture was a time when the dodgy foreigner was king, whilst our league may still be dominated by them, it would be very hard to argue the quality has risen somewhat. There was a time when they promised the volleys, the peles, the nutmegs, the razzamataz and very, very, very few actually delivered. At the forefront of those was one David Ginola. What set him apart was that he actually had a knack of delivering some of the greatest moments in Premiership history.

I know despite those mad skills you’re thinking ‘Shit hair, shit clothes, not a don’ but for me any player who refuses to track back in favour of resting so he can try some fresh moves has a bit of something about him. There are a lot of equations that can be used to figure out a don. I’m sure you can only imagine the kind of complex maths that justified Peter Doherty’s place in the list but sometimes it’s just very, very, very simple.

God given ability minus any kind of effort equals DON.

And if there’s any doubts he earned bonus points for being kicked out of the French squad for trying flash shit instead of holding the ball up in the dying moments of the Euro 96 qualifiers and also managing to nob but not headbutt Ulrika Johnson.

If you go back to my original point about the evolution of the league, we saw the likes of Ginola become the likes of Damien Duff. Genuine talent exchanged for hard graft. One of my most horrible football expierences was playing a bunch of lads on holiday many moons ago. There was only a short gap in age but whilst they played a game of flash passing and using the space and so on and on, all we wanted to do was score volleys or preferably hit the bar very, very hard. How very boring that there are now a generation of kids who put graft over skill. David Ginola, you and your ilk may have been a lazy pain in the arse at times but you lit up many lives and inspired a generation of lazy flash people.

Thank you for the good times David.

Interesting fact: In 1999, he was named PFA Players’ Player of the Year and FWA Footballer of the Year, while playing for Tottenham Hotspur.
See: Youtube futher Ginola compilations tbh. There are plenty out there.

CMPunk’s Top 50 Dons – Number 44 – Massimo Osti

16 Aug

There are certain dons I admire but do not feel well informed enough to write about. These are dons whose influence goes far beyond my own knowledge and have achieved a devoted following that goes far beyond my mere interest and respect in their character and work. The first of these dons to make the list is Massimo Osti the originator of the C.P Company and Stone Island labels. Now I’m sure most if not all will not have heard of C.P and have Stone Island down as a brand for chavs, football hooligans and dickwads but the brands were actually produced with a real intent for quality clothing and a direct sense of experimenting with materials and style. Some of their signature jackets include the Ice jacket which changes colour with heat, the reflective which reflects light and the Milie which was originally designed for drivers of the 1000 mile millie miglia race.

Fashion should and does play a key part of the lives of the working classes. The actual idea of casuals grew out of people wearing their best clothes to football. Not necessarily in the way people like to peacock about now but generally to hold up the family name. A lot of these people you would only see on a Saturday so people tried to put on a strong front and present their family in a good light. It appals me when people complain about the price of Pretty Green. As Liam says, if you cannot afford it then save because what you walk around in is important. You often hear about people wanting ‘working class prices’ but it’s always been a working class thing to spunk your money on clothing. You really should care about what you wear, it’s not good enough being a scruffy cunt.

Stone Island Ice Jacket

Both of Massimo’s key labels are currently of fashion and off the high street as newer brands developing sharper, cheaper and more modern take on casual fashion. I would implore you to read the below so that next time you see one of his jacket you might think the person wearing it might not be a bone head, he might just appreciate good clothing.

Written by Mark Butterworth
Full article HERE
Edited down a little bit by CM Punk

The fashion industry suffered a huge loss when Massimo Osti, creator of the Stone Island and CP Company brands, died aged 59. Osti was certainly not a designer whose name struck a cord with everyman on the street, but within the fashion industry and on the especially fashion conscious football terraces around the UK, his position as one of the biggest innovators in men’s clothing in the late 20th century is unrivalled. So how did Bolognas favourite son become such a big deal?

Massimo Osti began the Chester Perry Company back in 1974 in Italy. A former graphic designer who had turned his hand to printing t shirts, he had a vision of straight laced, well made goods that would turn heads (as well as empty pockets). With a discreet logo of a workman, the cut and in particular the quality of the materials used in the clothing ensured that those who knew good garments in the fashion industry quickly learned of the brand. It also stood out as different because the designs concentrated on the dying process and material creation rather than working from patterns as was tradition in the fashion industry at the time.

CP Company original 1984 Milie Miglia

There was a slight teething problem however – the name bore too much resemblance to the Fred Perry label; following a court order a hasty name change was brought about. The brand shortened its name to become C.P. Company, and the label continued to churn out quality garments, with outerwear winning particular favour with the fashion going public in Italy , but it wasn’t to be long before the rest of Europe, and Britain in particular, would be getting into Massimo’s creations.

In the early 80’s Osti wanted to take his creations down a more casual line, but he found the smart aura of C.P. Company slightly too constricting for what he had in mind. He had been using innovative materials, and was slowly but steadily edging into the science of what material could be used with each season that passed. While his garments were simple yet effective, they were most definitely at the smarter end of the casual wear spectrum. Massimo however wanted to be able to express one of his favourite influences into a clothing label, and that huge influence was the military.

Now here was something that had never been tried before. Armed forces uniform has always centred on being practical and functional, yet no one had tried to bring this together with a line of clothing. His brand launched in 1982 as Stone Island Marina, it certainly seemed to draw from a sea faring influence in its very name. The brand stuck instant accord. While on t shirts and shirts a simple four pronged compass star would appear, a now famous black rectangular patch with the compass at the centre and circled by Stone Island lettering would appear on knits and jackets.

Noel G wearing a sample Stone Island Denims jacket.

It didn’t take long for Stone Island Marina to gain favour – Jones of London, a legendary fashion emporium, was the first to have its finger on the pulse and imported the first few pieces of Stone Island in the UK. And while the garments they had were outstanding, a cut literally apart from anything else being done, they had a hefty price tag to match – a piece of knitwear would cost over a hundred pounds, quite a lot in prime Thatcher Britain. But the price was justifiable – a piece could be worn years after it was first purchased and still be in superb condition due to the excellent workmanship.

There is a long history of argument among football fans as to who at what club were the first to be wearing Stone Island. From the bandits of Portsmouth to the scallies at Liverpool, while London was the epicentre for Stone Islands first stockists in the UK the brand was more readily available in Italy, and there was a bigger selection of garments to boot. With this in mind it is certainly true that a very select few who led the way with risk taking at clubs throughout the country, those who were making the journey to Europe to stay ahead in the fashion stakes, were the first in rather than one club en masse. With many British clubs taking part in European matches and the decreasing cost of continental travel, there was a new option from the increasingly common adidas and Lacoste labels. And those wearing Stone Island, and some in C.P., would certainly have stood out on the terraces back in the 80’s.

In the late 80’s Osti was engrossed in merging technology and fashion, and this came to the fore in the use of fabrics in outerwear. At first jackets were created for C.P. Company using stainless steel material, a process still used by the brand today some 20 years later. But the military influenced Stone Island provided a much greater opportunity for ridiculous innovation, and so Massimo created the first Stone Island Ice Jackets.

Based initially on camouflage colour schemes, Ice Jackets used materials which were temperature sensitive – they changed colour according to the heat. The summer versions were most commonly seen, but the much rarer long winter versions incorporated a fur lined hood. There were also half zip jackets which steered away from the camouflage colour scheme. The innovation did not end there. Waterproofing was another important part of outerwear, and with this in mind Osti initially came up with rubber based materials for jackets which became on occasion too sticky, so he developed a coated form of cotton which with a glossy appearance had tremendous water repellent qualities.

Liam G onstage in C.P Company parka which is a lot superior to his own Pretty Green one.

In this time Stone Island Marina was largely replaced by the more effective and simple Stone Island title although some pieces still carried the Marina logo. But Stone Island was not the exclusive outlet for Massimo’s biggest innovations. At the same time Massimo released the Mille Miglia jacket, inspired by the car race of the same name which took between cities in Italy. This jacket incorporated goggles into the hood which cold flip down over the eyes when the hood was extended, and with a clear circular watch viewer in the arm to make telling the time easier. As with so many of Massimo’s creations the Mille Miglia has more than stood the test of time and more items from C.P. Company are made now incorporating the goggle idea than were 15 years ago.

But by 1994 Massimo parted ways with Sportswear SPA, leaving his post as creative director of both brands, with the cult Boneville label ceasing production. The reason for Osti leaving remains unclear, but those in Britain who came to work for Osti in later years would claim that the amount of work he put into the brands was not reflected in his salary. It would have been easy for Osti to retire with his work having been done – his huge influence had changed the way the fashion world thought. We would not have brands like Griffin, Maharishi, or 6876 without Massimo’s influence. Indeed in quite an Osti-esque show of humility, the creative director behind the 6876 Kenneth Mackenzie, turned down an offer of taking his innovations to the Sportswear SPA labels.

Massimo created a series of now cult labels which continued an understated look. World Wide Web and ST 95 did not make a big impact, but Left Hand in the late 90’s left a great impression with excellent outerwear collections. It was not long before Osti was snapped up by the Levi’s brand to lead a project for them. Faced at the time by fierce competition in the denim world, Levis sales had flagged and producing the same denim was not enough in a competitive market place. The innovations Osti put in place arguably spurred on Levis to what it has become today, a denim producer proud of its heritage (reflected in its premium vintage label) but also an innovator who could come up with ideas like twisted denim.

With Massimo’s inspiration of fusing technology and clothing, he came up with the Levis ICD+ Courier jacket boasted an integrated MP3 player, mobile phone, headphones, and a control panel for easy operation of the devices. Just to be practical, it also had a fold away feature. Only 1,000 were produced in a few colours and as with so many huge innovations, it was not a hit. But now a few years down the line clothing manufacturers are looking at ways of integrating MP3 players with coats. Osti also worked for Dockers, the khaki branch of Levis, and those who thought there simply wasn’t much innovation to be applied to a khaki brand were proved wrong. The biggest seller of the collection were trousers which fused the idea of combat trousers with a pair of Dockers, creating a unique design with zip open bottoms, reinforced knees, and lots of pockets. But the big talking point from buyers up and down the country who had viewed the collection was the availability of actual chain mail trousers…naturally the weight and the lack of medieval spirit meant few retailers took up the offer.

Cool Pic.

But the designers work was to be cut short just when he was getting his creation line back into full flow. A bout of cancer hit Osti who went into retirement while he fought for several years with the illness, and he seemed to have made a full recovery when he released his Double Use Massimo Osti line of reversible knitwear. But the unpredictable nature of this disease was shown when Osti died just short of his 60th birthday. The legacy of the designer and the hole left in the fashion world is enormous. His biggest fans, the British football fraternity, were constantly waiting for his next creations years after year. But the news is that his Double Use line will continue, with his son taking up the reign to continue his work. We hope that Massimo’s greatness has rubbed off on his son, and that we may continue to wear Osti creations from whichever part of the bloodline, for years to come.

See: http://www.found-nyc.com/blog/ or visit Selfridges or something.

CMPunk’s Top 50 Dons – Number 45 – Ray

11 Aug

L-R: Ray, Jude.

For the love of god do not get me wrong. I am by no means suggesting the actor Ray Winestone as a don. Maybe in The Scum days, maybe even after the Love, Honour & Obey and Sexy Beast knockout combo of 2000 but defintely not today. Too much blag, blag, blag, too much agg, agg, agg, too much lovely jubbly when in fact he’s just a fat sweaty West Ham prick actor past his prime living on a much bigger facade than that accused of lovable rogue Danny Dyer. As someone who mixes in those sorts of circles he seems to think he belongs in, he reminds me of man the pub who has sat on the same pub stool for 20 years proclaiming how great he rather than the worldly type who has seen a few things.

I really do hate rich celebrities trying to pass themselves off as the everyman when they haven’t got any kind of idea of what’s really going on on the streets of England. He’s not as bad as Michael Caine though who takes the absolute biscuit for that kind of thing. How some old sweaty tax exile thinks he has the right to comment on life in Britian for the lower working classes in 2010 and suggest something like national service for teenagers when he’s off sunning himself somewhere is beyond me. Ray isn’t that bad yet but he’s not far behind.

The character of Ray (Ray Winestone) in Love, Honour & Obey is a mirror opposite of the omelette playing him. Here is a brief synopsis so you’re on the films tip but you really should buy and watch it . Love, Honour & Obey is the story of a postman named Jonny (Jonny Lee Miller) who has decided he has had enough of his morbid life and goes about forcing his way into the firm who run North London via his best mate Jude (Jude Law) who is the nephew of topdog Ray. Through the film we see the firm’s major cash cows are running doors, porn shops, fruit machines & dodgy bank cards. Due to Jonny’s naive actions in trying to play the stereotypical tough guy with the rival South London firm , a turf war is instigated that brings the film to it’s conclusion.

Now the film probably has a niche audience of men aged 25-40 who are based in London and it’s surrounding suburbs but even with this in mind I have to say it is an amazing hilarious film. It draws on the same idea that filled Chris Morris recent terrorism romp Four Lions that even in the most horrible of acts there is humanity and humour. Throughout the rows, fueds and violance that fill the movie there is always laughter and strangely enough kareoke, such is life. Unless you’re facing a long stretch in prison life really shouldn’t be taken to seriously. Everything will pass and there is humour in everything.

The character of Ray is a man of real power showing a humourus, soft and even shy side through out that is so notably absent from Ray ‘ blag, blag, blag ‘ Wintstone. My two favorite moments of the film best show the extent of the excellent roundedness (if that’s a word) of the character of Ray. It is as natural for him to tell a film director “Fuck off your fat and I’ll throw you in the river” after he interupts an arugument with his actress girlfriend as it is for him to earlier shyly (albeit somewhat aggressively) propose by thrusting a ring into her hand and shouting “YES OR NO?” whilst walking away as she enquires what it means. He’s a brilliant character. Hard but happier to taking the non-violent route and truly hilrious. Ray Winestone would do well to go back and watch his best film and trying to reconnect with the thespian who projected Ray. Maybe with a bit of humanity and self deprication he could make the 2020 Top Dons list.

Key Quote: “Shut your mouth or I’ll cut your face off”
See: Love, Honour & Obey (2000)